


"You are not gonna give me a piggyback ride."

by Ford_Ye_Fiji



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies), Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Away Mission Gone Wrong, Gen, Humor, I hope, Kirk laughs way too much, McCoy gets hurt, My First Work in This Fandom, Sarcasm, Spock and Bones like to pretend they hate each other, The Triumvirate, based off of fan art, galaxy quest for one line, i borrow a thing from Longmire??, just witty quips, theres no plot, whos knows if it's accurate
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-14
Updated: 2017-12-14
Packaged: 2019-02-14 20:12:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,494
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13015275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ford_Ye_Fiji/pseuds/Ford_Ye_Fiji
Summary: An away mission goes wrong, and no- despite what Kirk thinks, Spock and McCoy did not 'bond', thank you very much.





	"You are not gonna give me a piggyback ride."

**Author's Note:**

> I've wanted to write for Star Trek for so long, but gosh I was so nervous about living up to the show. (And I don't usually write cursing, but Bones needs to curse or else he sounds weird.) 
> 
> Also, this could be AOS or TOS, but I, personally, always imagine them as their TOS counterparts, so, whatever ya'll prefer.

"Damnit, Spock! I can do it myself!"

Spock raised an eyebrow indignantly, "Doctor McCoy, your request is highly ill-"

"If you say illogical I'll hit you with my tricorder, Mr. Spock."

"I do not believe that you could lift your tricorder, much less throw it in your current condition."

"Spock..."

"Very well, Doctor- but please refrain from overexerting yourself."

"Oh, do you have a Ph.D. now, Spock?"

Spock made no comment, instead frowning at the results from the medical scanner. McCoy dropped his head back to the ground with a barely vented huff, "Of all the times for something to happen, it had to be now- with the hobgoblin."

The Vulcan stood, eyeing the strange blue fauna around them, "Considering that I am not a mischievous fairy, 'hobgoblin' is a rather nonsensical insult, Doctor."

McCoy snarled, "Green blooded pain in the neck!"

"My blood is hardly of consequence."

The good doctor continued to grumble under his breath, as he struggled to sit up. Spock knelt again, "I would not attempt that yet, Doctor, the trap that you fell into seems to have injured your leg quite considerably."

Leonard bat away the hand hovering over his shoulder, "Shaddup Spock, I know what I'm doing."

"Doctor..."

"Exactly, _I'm_ the Doctor here." He pushed himself up against the trunk of the tree, and held out a hand for his scanner. Spock reluctantly handed it over before standing to keep watch.

It was simply meant to be a small away mission, but when an arrow killed Ensign Davis, things had gotten rather complicated. After McCoy had delivered his prognosis of, "He's dead, Jim," the captain had gone harrowing off when he caught sight of the creature again. Spock and McCoy had followed, the latter complaining of Jim's impulsiveness, but the two had been thwarted when the Doctor's foot had suddenly crashed through the ground and into a small hole that the creature had probably made.

It had been a rather difficult process to help him out, considering that there were small wooden stakes positioned horizontally in the hole, and consequently, his leg.

Spock frowned at the storm clouds growing on the horizon. He'd been expecting the looming storm to break later in the afternoon, but it seemed he'd miscalculated the mass of the ominous clouds. Highly unlikely for them to break so soon considering the readings he gotten on his scanner on the Enterprise, but apparently it was going to happen despite the odds. He turned back to McCoy, "Do you have a prognosis, Doctor?"

"I'll be fine, Spock, those bandages should hold up considering most of the damage is superficial. I just won't be able to walk very well. Are the communicators up?"

Spock shook his head, "The storm is still causing massive interference."

"Great, jus' perfect. We're cut off from the ship, I'm stuck with you, and who knows where the hell Jim is..."

The first officer nodded his head at a part of the forest, "He is in that direction, according to the damage he has caused by running through the foliage."

"Well whaddya know. Help me up, an' we can go after him."

It took a rather worrying amount of effort to get the older man off the ground, but they succeeded, partly because of the Vulcan's strength and also partly because of McCoy's sheer stubbornness.

Unfortunately, they only managed a few steps, McCoy's left arm flung around Spock's shoulders, before the first officer stopped, "Doctor, you are looking uncannily pale."

"I'm fine, Spock... C'mon we gotta go get Jim, who knows what fool thing he's done now."

His brows furrowed, "Are you certain you are well?"

"Yes, dammit! We don't have time for this foolishness, Kirk's probably gone and attacked the thing, probably getting himself killed in the process."

Spock vented a barely perceptible huff, but continued, McCoy limping beside him.

It was quite a distance they went, the sky growing darker and the wind blowing harder the farther they went. When they reached an outcropping of rock, Spock turned to his companion, shouting over the relentless wind, "I believe we must stop here until the storm ceases!"

McCoy shook his head vehemently, "No! We gotta find Kirk!"

"We are not moving sufficiently enough, we won't catch up with him before the storm breaks!"

McCoy cursed, back slumping in defeat, "Fine you obstinate machine, but let's get out of this wind first!"

Spock half dragged half carried the CMO to the rocks, taking shelter in a small nearly invisible cave, there.

McCoy sagged against the rocks, taking a few minutes to catch his breath before speaking, "We need to find Jim before that storm washes away all signs of where he went."

"Agreed, Doctor."

He squinted, "Did you just agree with me, Mr. Spock?"

"Hardly, just your observation."

"Good, thought I was hallucinatin' or something." McCoy sighed, "You need to go on ahead and find Jim. I'll stay here till ya'll come back."

"That is an illogical course of action, Doctor."

He snapped, "Don't you argue with me, Spock! You know it's the only way to reach him in time!"

"Incorrect, Doctor."

McCoy spluttered. Spock knelt in front of him and then turned, "Get on my back, Doctor McCoy."

"What?"

"I am sufficiently strong enough to carry you. We will significantly improve our speed."

McCoy growled, "You are _not_ gonna give me a piggyback ride."

* * *

 

"I hate you."

"Noted."

McCoy slouched, "I will never hear the end of this."

A pause and then, "Neither will I."

"At least there's that."

Silence continued as Spock continued at a notably faster walk than before, when the CMO had been limping along at a snail's pace.

McCoy pointed over the Vulcan's shoulder, "Look!" There snagged on branches was some scrap of the wayward Captain's torn yellow shirt, fluttering in the raging wind. Spock raised an eyebrow, "I see he's managed to get his shirt off again."*

McCoy snickered.

They passed a hole, the purple creature lying in it, disconcertingly still. The Doctor shook his head, "One of its own traps did it in."

"Let us hope it has not done the same to the Captain."

McCoy murmured in agreement.

"Spock! Bones!"

A familiar figure leaned against a leafy blue tree, taking shelter from the burgeoning overcast sky and buffeting wind, his ripped yellow uniform providing little protection against the high winds. "Captain!"

When Kirk saw their circumstances, McCoy's scratched face, wrapped leg, and his wonderfully normal grumpy scowl as the CMO hung bitterly onto Spock's back, he started laughing.

Spock ignored his childish giggles, "Captain. Jim. Doctor McCoy has a high probability of injury on away missions. It is incredibly frustrating."

McCoy, who had turned beet red at Jim's laughter, hid his face in Spock's shoulder, "Dammit man, I said I could walk dammit! Put me down, please..."

Jim's chuckles trailed off into a wide and overly fond grin.

"That would be highly unwise Doctor McCoy, and detrimental to your health."

The Captain put his hand over his mouth in an effort to hide his smirk.

"Jim! Spock's being stubborn."

"On the contrary Jim, it is Doctor McCoy."

"Don't you start-"

"Gentlemen, while it pleases me to see you getting along so well," McCoy's and Spock's appalled looks were enough to justify that sentence, "We really must be going. Perhaps somewhere out of the storm?"

McCoy spluttered at his cocky grin, while Spock merely raised an unimpressed eyebrow.

It had only just begun to rain by the time the trio had backtracked to the outcropping of rocks where McCoy and Spock had rested earlier. After that, it only took a few hours for the quick yet immense storm to completely wear itself out, the sun resuming its natural place in the sky.

Kirk pulled out his communicator as the clouds dispersed, "Scotty? Come in, Scotty?"

"Aye, Captain, I'm here. What happened down there? Last I heard was a spotty message from Spock askin' for assistance o' some sort. Nearly killed us with the storm preventin' us from beaming down and all."

"We're alright down here. Though Bones will require a visit to the med bay before everything is back to normal."

"O' is Doctor McCoy alright?"

"Yes, though his dignity is probably more wounded than his leg at the moment."

Bones propped himself up on his elbows from where he'd been stretched across the rocky ground in an attempt to rest his leg, "Dammit Jim, if you tell anyone..!"

The captain grinned, "Kirk out." The communicator snapped shut with a loud click.

McCoy's brow furrowed "That's not damn funny, Jim!"

Spock shrugged from his seat by the entrance of the small cave, "On the contrary Doctor, I believe that is what you would call a 'joke.'"

"Oh yeah? And what do you know about jokes?"

The two were still arguing with each other as they appeared in the transporter room of the Enterprise.

Jim kept up that delighted grin all the way to the bridge.

 

**Author's Note:**

> *Spock is quoting Galaxy Quest, not that he knows it of course. 
> 
> Last thing, I found myself halfway through this and realized I was basically writing this scene, and you guys seriously need to check out their amazing art, so here it is:
> 
> http://trashyscarface.tumblr.com/post/163224007467/plot-twist-bones-and-spock-are-tied-for-the-worst


End file.
